Relapse #3: I don’t remember what I had but I want to say it was another ½ mini-box of wine? Or maybe 2 mini bottles from a 4 pack? Weird I don’t know specifics because this was the least I had drank of all the relapses since my DUI. Hubs came home earlier than expected. Since it was such a small amount, I really didn’t think he’d notice.
But he did. He asked. I lied.
H: “Why do I not believe you?”
P: I don’t know because I haven’t.
H: Okay then. Let’s go to your car and you blow in your breathalyzer.
P: (yep, I’m screwed) Okay, let’s go.
H: (sigh) nooo, it’s alright, I guess I believe you.
ANOTHER bullet dodged and man, was I sweating! I decided right then and there that I couldn’t risk it again because the next consequence would be him leaving me – even though he never once said that he would.
See, that’s where my brain can go sometimes. Immediately to the worst case scenario with nothing to back it up. Like a hypochondriac (which I can also admit that I am to some extent) thinks they are at death’s door when they experience unfamiliar symptoms they cannot explain, I was foretelling the death of my marriage. It’s just so dramatic (eye roll).
I decided I’d wait a while. I’d complete the 6 week outpatient rehab program, the dust would settle and I’d drink again when it fizzled into something we just didn’t talk about. You know, sweep it under the rug like it never happened. Story of my life.
But I haven’t.
My new date was now March 30th, 2012 and has remained that date ever since. I am now 8 years sober from alcohol.