Who the hell am I?

I am a 38 (almost 39) year old woman in recovery from the disease of alcoholism.  I consider myself a mixed bag of many things awesome, weird and crazy with a rebellious streak. I have a colorful personality to match my colorful past & I wear many hats in this thing called LIFE. You’re going to learn a lot about me as I go along so here’s what you really need to know before joining me on this journey:

  1. I have a foul mouth and I write how I talk so if “bad words” bother you, then this blog is not for you.
  2. I love acronyms (obviously,) hence the link in the menu. New ones will be added as needed.
  3. I love lists and numbers (again, obviously.)
  4. I love to use quotations, parenthesis, asterisks and capital letters.
  5. I am long winded both in the spoken and written word. Too lazy to read it all or don’t GAF about some of the stuff I write about? ZFG. Deal with it or move on to the next post.
  6. I’m ghostwriting this shit. Pixie is not my real name. In fact, it is my former alter-ego when I drank. A handful (or a smidge more) of you know who I REALLY am. If you are one of them, I ask that you help protect me & my family’s anonymity by not sharing my true identity. You can share the shit out of my blog, just don’t say  something like “check out my friend’s (tags my real name) blog!”

What exactly is this blog about?

Simply put, this blog is about my relationship with alcohol and my recovery process in the past, present and future – basically, my entire story (for now) – and I encourage you to start from the beginning by clicking here. In the interest of anonymity for myself, my family and those I write about, names and details of stories have been/will be changed. Only a select few of those that know my true identity will know some or all of the actual facts in the stories revealed. Here’s a list of what to expect:

  1. Personal History
  2. Highbrow Humor
  3. Brutal Honesty
  4. Overdue Amends
  5. Nostalgic Moments
  6. Shameful Moments
  7. Steps 1-12
  8. Random Nicknames
  9. Birds and Peas
  10. Benevolent Normies*
  11. Faith & Hope
  12. Fervent Gratitude

What is the purpose of this blog?

Honestly, that’s hard to say. It started out as one thing and has evolved into more.  I guess it has several purposes:

  1. My recovery has been slow going and unconventional. I have been wanting to share it for a long time but didn’t know exactly how – until now.
  2. If I’m being honest, I need to get some shit off my chest.
  3. I have embarked on a new path of self-discovery within my recovery and this is my way of documenting it &…
  4. …by documenting it, maybe my experience, strength and hope will help others who face addiction set out on their own paths of recovery and lastly…
  5. …humbly offer my help to those who want to live a fulfilling life free from their addiction and help others do the same.

I am a work in progress and so is this blog.  It will likely change frequently and I welcome any feedback or constructive criticism my readers have to offer.  What I do NOT welcome is negative feedback or pursuits to “change my mind” on the path I have chosen to take. I do my best to practice love and tolerance of others and it is my wish that my readers try to do the same. **UPDATE** Should parts of my story trigger you and you feel compelled to comment, by all means, have at it. I can assure you while I do care about you as a human being worthy of all things good in this world, I truly don’t care if you agree with my chosen path of recovery or not. Seriously. IDGAF.

Who is this blog for?

Anyone and everyone – in and out of recovery.  All alcoholics, addicts and “normies” welcome.  For those in recovery who are familiar with Alcoholics Anonymous, it will make the most sense.  For the rest of you, it may be challenging to keep up or “get” the message so I encourage you to click on the links within my posts or ask if something is unclear and I will gladly explain.

To my AA & addict fellows, those that I know and don’t know:

Let me say first and foremost: without the rooms and members of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), I would NOT be the woman I am today. I believe in the 12-steps and now view them for what they truly are – a design for living life on life’s terms without alcohol (or whatever substance or thing) standing in the way of serenity, peace and genuine happiness. A lot of the “cliches” in this blog came out of the Big Book (BB) of Alcoholics Anonymous and/or other sober members in recovery. That being said…

…not gonna lie, you may not like what I have to say – I recognize and accept that.  Like I said, my recovery has been unconventional and some might even consider it controversial or not recovery at all.  If you are genuinely interested in reading this blog, please consider the “Set Aside Prayer**:”

God, Please help me set aside everything I think I know about myself, my disease, the 12 steps, and especially You; So I may have an open mind and a new experience of all these things. Please let me see the truth. Amen.

That’s all I got peeps.