Something had to change. At this point, I knew that my girls were not returning back to school any time soon and my new facial business that I had JUST opened in January was going to remain closed for an undetermined amount of time. Once again, I felt lost and defeated.
Up until 3 months ago, I was still struggling with my anger management. While I was no longer experiencing episodes of rage, I was still allowing my emotions to get the best of me; leaving me filled with tremendous guilt, shame, and remorse.
When I first quit drinking 8 years ago, it wasn’t by choice. I was an alcoholic who knew deep down I could never drink again but I refused to accept it. I did not want to be done for good and therefore, wanted to protect my right to drink by not being honest about howContinue reading “My Recovery Rock Bottom – Part 4”
“You wouldn’t know, you’re not a mother.” My friend was right. She was a mom in the depths of toddler hell and I was childless. What you don’t know is, I had suffered a miscarriage less than 6 months prior and was actively trying to get pregnant again – I wanted to be a motherContinue reading “My Recovery Rock Bottom – Part 3”
This is 1 of a 5 part series. Some have been password protected. I was moving up the ranks in my drinking career when my besties started having babies. While they navigated through raising little humans, I was raising hell on my path of self-destruction. When they complained about the woes of motherhood and nursingContinue reading “My Recovery Rock Bottom -Part 2”
Have you watched the show “Tidying Up” on Netflix yet? It’s a reality show with tidying expert, Marie Kondo, helping families and couples “purge” their homes of any and all things that do not bring them joy. When all is said and done, her clients have developed new habits in maintaining tidy, functioning living spacesContinue reading “A Rebel is Reveling in the Change (of her Closet)”
Relapse (past & present:) “We’re only as sick as our secrets.” – AA slogan. I haven’t been honest with you guys. I mean, I have, but…not totally honest. Remember how I said there are things I know I have to talk about and I don’t want to? Well, I guess you can say I’ve beenContinue reading “Skeletons 3.5 – My Recovery Relapse Series”
Reborn (present): “We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.” The Promises of AA (BB, pg 83-84) In Skeletons 1.3, I mentioned giving a speech at my high school graduation and this is what I said about it: “I spewed a bunch of nonsense. I knew exactly what they wanted toContinue reading “Skeletons 3.1 – My Recovery Reborn”
Rebirth: “Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.” (BB, pg.59) Did you read the Daily Reflections today. If you didn’t, click here. (Reminder, I also have the link in the sidebar.) WOW, what a God shot! A year ago, I set outContinue reading “My Rebirth”
**Disclaimer: This is an unusual recovery blog. I am presently in the “what happened” portion of my story, which focuses primarily on my drinking and recovery in the past. Whether this is your first time here or you are a returning reader, I encourage you to visit my About page before reading further.** Remorse (past)Continue reading “Skeletons 2.11 – My Remorse”